Since the release of this blog my personal facebook account has been reported by RIL. They know it is me who is the person disclosing abuse and they know what they’ve done. They know my username on facebook. RIL also knows in depth the history of my estranged family’s abuse towards me, and that I have been in hiding from them in my new life in UK. They also know that my estranged family has been stalking me for years, and recently did find me on social media, which caused me severe distress, leaving London, and a panic attack – I actually called one of the RIL members for support that day. Now I am facing a choice of either losing my personal facebook account or being outed with my legal name to the public and left to my abusive family to find me. I cannot begin to describe how this betrayal of trust and attack affected me.
Also, at the moment MFJ asylum seekers are seemingly being told that me disclosing truth about the abusive ways in MFJ&RIL is endangering their asylum cases. I am also being described as someone who due to history of trauma is of unstable mind and therefore cannot be believed and ‘misunderstood’. I know many asylum seekers have rececived some tangible support from MFJ (mainly before the RIL’s focus shifted from asylum to Labour), when they were needed as ‘forefront’ building, however this does not erase how the group is ran, its tactics, or how it treats people when they ‘disobey’ RIL. And perhaps it is telling that despite many years of supposedly working for asylum seeker’s rights there is only a handful of them that has stuck around or comes to meetings and demos.
I have been banned from all groups where I could contact fellow MFJ members, before I was able to say anything to them myself. What ensued after was messages from RIL leaders manipulating truth, gaslighting and discrediting me, particularly using mental health to invalidate what I’ve disclosed. While RIL is saying saying ‘I should have talked things through’ they ban from contact, and my earlier messages of distress as well as asking for time out to ‘clear my head’ were ignored (although the RIL member who led the abusive intervention was very keen to meet in person one-on-one again, of course). There are fake concern messages to MFJ members posturing as empathetic about wanting to ‘reach out to me’ and ‘if only there was a way to apologise to me’, while my phone and email have been fully available to them yet silent, and RIL removed me from all chat groups. I had no chance to respond directly or even say goodbye before leaving, as was kicked out by RIL/MFJ chair the moment I disclosed abuse. It has further isolated me, and wounded me to watch turning people who were my community and friends against me by ‘leaders’ I trusted. It breaks my heart.
I have lost my purpose, community, friends, support network, trust in humanity, a home, political work, sense of personal safety, financial safety. I am living off suitcases and reeling from shock, betrayal, anger, frustration and loss.
This is what survivors of abuse face when they disclose.
Default disbelief only protects the abusers.
Believe us when we disclose. We often lose nearly everything, for speaking the truth.
Thank you to everyone who has publicly and personally given their support, believed me, and reached out to me. Thank you to those who validated my experience by sharing their thoughts and feelings on MFJ/RIL that matched mine.
Please keep sharing the truth and validating this story.
There is more details to come.
We speak the plain truth. We know this is upsetting & difficult to digest. It is heartbreaking and many have been invested in MFJ’s work. Including the migrant person disclosing, who now lost the organisation they had turned to for support and friendship, have been banned from speaking in all MFJ chat groups, and is under attack from RIL.
This is tough news for everyone.
But those who know will recognise it is truth. The member whose story you read above is a migrant with history of serious abuse.
And no abuse should be silenced because it’s difficult to hear, or to save actions set up by an abusive group who claims to protect the very people they mistreat.
#SpeakPlainTruth openly – silencing, secrecy and denial breed abuse. When it is safe to do so there will be more personal details.